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Encourage Questions From Your Daughter

  • Posted In : 2021-Mar-04

Earlier this year, at the mechanic’s shop, I had the chance to witness the most heartwarming conversation between a father and daughter, here’s how the conversation went:

Mechanic: Sir, May I know what your car mileage is?

Father: Yes, it’s 13,500 miles.

Daughter: Daddy, what is ‘mileage’?

Father (smiling): The distance our car can travel using a specific amount of fuel!

After hearing this conversation, I have only one thing to say to all the parents out there:—A girl, who asks a question, is a girl who dares!

Being a parent is tough. Now and then you’ll run into someone who will doubt, criticize, or disagree with your decisions. And it’s even more difficult when you’re a girl parent, who has to face the harsh reality of raising a daughter. From childhood, young girls are engraved with societal and familial expectations, i.e. “Girls must sit quiet and pretty or asking too many questions is improper.” The implication of this mindset has led to numerous problems: low self-confidence, a lack of knowledge and negotiation skills, fewer promotions, inequality, etc.

A Forum’s Global Gender Gap report, says that only 22% of the world’s AI professionals are women, compared with 78% who are men. This accounts for the 72% gender gap yet to be closed, as well as the wider STEM skills gap and it may be because of the lack of confidence. In a 2003 Cornell University study, psychologists discovered that women valued their scientific abilities lower than men, despite performing similarly in a quiz. On average kids between ages two and five, ask 40,000 questions. However, as they enter school, the number begins declining, particularly among girls who lack self-confidence. The statistics speak for themselves: for every question posed by a female researcher, a male researcher asks an estimated 1.8 questions.

“We must dare to think about ‘unthinkable things’ because when things become ‘unthinkable things become ‘unthinkable’, thinking stops and action becomes mindless.” - J. William Fulbright

We must realize that the art and science of asking questions is the source of knowledge. Because of their hectic lives, adults often dismiss their children's questions. We mark their questions as "not so important" and yell and scream at them, effectively discouraging them from asking them.

Although we must empower our daughters to ask questions, you should also teach our son how to ask appropriate questions. Teach them when they're young, and teach them now. When you're sitting in the living room with your son watching the evening news, encourage him to ask why someone is talking over the lady on TV  and why are the majority of the politicians waving to the crowd men. Catching up on the latest IPL game, let him ask “why aren't there a lot of girls playing cricket on TV?” Questions like these would help in the development of a healthy mindset, the promotion of equality, and eventually building a safe environment for even girls to ask questions.

Further, stop telling your little girl, every time she opens her mouth, “Don’t ask too many questions” or “this is for boys,” isn’t helping. 

We can only resolve our prejudices, discuss different perspectives, and even express our thoughts by asking questions. Only by challenging different points of view will we be able to cultivate the courage to speak our minds and learn. Since we live in a world that silences women's voices, teaching our daughters to ask questions will help them be better prepared for the future. So, as you think about how to raise your daughter to be a confident and brave woman begin by teaching her to ask questions! 

THE MIND THAT OPENS TO A NEW IDEA NEVER RETURNS TO ITS ORIGINAL SIZE - Albert Einstein

Author : Apekshya Basnet

A freshman at Jamia Millia Islamia; feminist; Based in New Delhi; a young ambitious woman with strong opinions, a brave heart, and a skeptical mind.

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